Following recent events in the other country, I telephone my holiday insurance company to make a claim for stolen items:
Me: hello, I’d like to make a claim
Her: this will take around 15 minutes. Is that ok?
Me: is this a local call?
Her: what do you mean? You’re calling mmmmmst
Me: sorry, I didn’t quite understand. What am I calling?
Me: Right. So not a local call then?
Her: Hold the line … deafening music unsuitable for those with ear problems
Her: Shall I call you back?
Somewhat surprisingly, she did.
Her: can I call you Alison or Ms Green?
Me: you can call me Alison
Her: Well, Ms Alison, were you at home when this occurred?
Me: well no, I was in France.
Her: what were you doing there?
Me: I was on holiday. I’m claiming from my holiday insurance.
Her: what was stolen?
Me: my reading glasses
Her: do you have a picture of your sunglasses?
Me: No – they were my READING glasses
Her: do you have a picture of your reading glasses?
Her: don’t you have a picture of you wearing your reading glasses?
I’ll just get a picture of someone wearing glasses off the net then
Her: what else?
Me: my wallet
Her: do you have a picture of your wallet?
Me: do you have a picture of YOUR wallet?
Her: no, of course not.
Me: well then
Her: have you got a bill for the wallet?
Me: it was a gift
Her: can you get the person who gave you the wallet to write a letter saying how much it was?
(I phone my mother who gave me the wallet and ask whether she could write a letter to this effect.
Mother: I don’t know how much it cost
Me: well can you write to say it was £25?
Mother: oh no, I wouldn’t have spent that much
Her: what else?
Me: well 110 euro.
Her: have you got a statement to prove this?
Her: I’m very sorry for your loss